Self-care is so important. “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
When you are homeschooling, you are both the parent and the teacher for your children. You’re with your children almost 24/7. It can be exhausting, physically, mentally and emotionally. And a tired, overwhelmed parent isn’t an effective homeschooler. So self-care is super important. We have to take care of ourselves if we are going to take care of others.
And not just the pretty self-care that we see people posting about on social media. I’m not talking about bubble baths, manicures and haircuts. Those are great, and vital for us to feel good about ourselves. But there are other things that aren’t so pretty, that are arguably more important for our mental and physical health.
You need to take care of yourself so you don’t burnout. Here are some great self-care ideas for homeschooling parents.
It’s real and it happens to most homeschoolers at one point or another. It’s the feeling of exhaustion, being overwhelmed or unmotivated, irritability, depression, anger, or like you’re constantly playing catch-up. It can happen to anyone.
One of the biggest causes is the lack of breaks for homeschooling parents. How do you refill you bucket when you are constantly with the kids? Finding ways to take breaks, and take time for yourself is an important part of self-care.
Today I’m sharing a few things that I do to ensure that I get a break. From having a strict bedtime to quiet time to finding time for your own hobbies (for me, it’s reading), there are things that we can do to ensure we are taking care of ourselves as parents and homeschoolers. Because no one wants to burn out.
We give our kids books to read because books are one of the best ways to learn. They inspire, educate and challenge our thinking.
Which is why we, as homeschool parents, should be reading too.
This past year or so, I’ve been making a real effort to read more in general. I’ve actually read more books in the last year, than I have in all the year combine since high school. While I’ve done pretty well on my personal goal of reading more, it’s also given me a chance to read some great books on homeschooling and education.
This is my book list for homeschooling parents. These books have changed how I think, taught me some cool things and inspired me. You’ll definitely want to check these out!
These are my top recommendations so far. I still plan to keep up my goal of reading more this year, maybe even setting a number goal. I’m thinking of trying to read 50 books this year. Which means I’m probably going to be able to add few titles to this list by the end of the year.
Picking a homeschool style or approach is an important first step when you start homeschooling. But it’s also super overwhelming.
There are so many options (9 actually) and each is so different. But, don’t worry! We’re going to help you understand the different homeschooling styles out there.
School-at-home Approach
One of the first approaches many homeschoolers try but also one that most homeschoolers abandon. School-at-home tries to recreate the school environment in your house. A strict schedule, blocked time periods for each subject and lots of workbooks. It’s great if you are planning on homeschooling for a short amount of time before returning to the public school system but long-term homeschoolers often find it too rigid and that they don’t need to spend that much time on each subject every day.
Classical Approach
This is the oldest homeschooling approach (literally, it’s ancient). It places a big emphasis on logic, learning facts and rules, and reasoning. Many also include Latin or Greek studies as part of the foundations of language arts. It can be seat work heavy but it’s a time tested approach.
Charlotte Mason Approach
A very popular approach that blends well with other approaches, the Charlotte Mason approach focuses on nature, poetry, and literature. It uses living books, copy work and journalling. It’s a very gentle approach and very child-centred. Most curriculum is Christian-based (because Charlotte Mason was quite religious) but the elements and foundations can be used in a secular setting.
Unit Studies
Unit Studies are growing in popularity and for good reason! Unit studies can follow a child’s interest, be highly engaging, and are even a great option for studying as a family with multiple ages. You can buy unit study programs or you can make your own. But you do need to be cautious of “holes” to ensure a well-rounded education.
Waldorf Approach
A mind-body-and-soul approach, this style focuses a lot on art, creativity, and nature. It’s pretty much the “liberal arts” approach of homeschooling. While it focuses on art and nature, it doesn’t use a lot of textbooks or technology. It can be expensive because of it’s use of natural materials and some people are concerned about the lack of focus on reading in the early years.
Montessori
While not an official homeschooling approach (since you need to get a teaching certification from their school in order to be qualified as a real Montessori teacher) many parents are taking the principals and incorporating them into their homeschooling. It’s a play-based approach that uses a child’s interests, large blocks of free time and child-sized tools to help children learn. It’s a popular choice for parents with children with exceptionalities. But for neurotypical kids, it’s only really appropriate for younger preschool or elementary years. And it can be expensive because of needing everything to be child-sized.
Unschooling
A child-lead approach, unschoolers believe that children are capable of learning and that parents are there to facilitate that learning. It’s actually more of a lifestyle than an approach with the belief that learning is a life-long endeavour. Children lead the learning while parents “strew” (which is when they introduce different ideas and topics and see what their child gravitates towards). There is very little curriculum used and the child has a lot of say about what and when it will be used. Unschooling can be time-consuming (because parents are constantly strewing and facilitating) and there are concerns about children “falling behind or missing things”. But there is also the belief that not all children need to learn everything they teach in schools.
Radical Unschooling
Radical Unschooling is like unschooling only a little more intense. There is absolutely no curriculum and some take it as far as no organized classes. They also believe in a child’s ability to learn and that a child’s interests and strengths are the best way of encourage learning. Like unschooling it can be a lot of work to strew properly and you have to be aware of holes in the learning but radical unschoolers believe that every child will learn what they need in life and through life.
Eclectic Homeschooling
Eclectic homeschooling, also known as relaxed homeschooling, is when you blend 2 or more approaches together to create a unique style. For example, we are eclectic homeschoolers and we blend together unschooling, unit studies, and Charlotte Mason approach, picking elements from each to make a style that we like. It makes for a very unique and highly customized homeschooling approach. It can be a little overwhelming since you don’t have as many criteria for narrowing your research and curriculum options but it’s easy to adapt to any family.
Now that you know a little about the different approaches, you can consider picking one for your homeschool. But how do you choose? Check out the next post on choosing the perfect homeschool approach for your family.
Picking a homeschooling approach can be overwhelming. And since it’s one of the first things you do when you start homeschooling, it’s a lot to start with. And with 9 different styles to choose from, how to you even choose?
Before you choose you need to know 3 things.
There is no “perfect” homeschool style that will work for everyone
Very few people fit perfectly into any single homeschool approach.
A style might work for a while and then you’ll want or need to change.
So now that we know those things, it’s time to pick a homeschool style. Here’s how to do it.
How to pick a homeschool approach
Read over the different homeschool approaches. There are 9, so read them carefully and make a note of the ones that you connect with. Some approaches won’t connect with you.
If you are still stuck, take a quiz. Rebecca from HomeschoolOn has a great quiz. But I urge you to look at the full results. When I took her quiz, I got unschooler, but when I looked at my full results which said I was 26% unschooler. I was also 25% unit studies and 25% Charlotte Mason style. Which since we are eclectic homeschoolers, that’s actually exactly what we are. But look at the full results and see that you get. But know she only covers 6 styles so take that into consideration.
Use your list and results as a jumping off point to do some research. Read some books, read some blogs and see what style you really like.
The next thing you can do, it try it out. Try homeschooling and the style you like. There will be a some trial and error, especially when you start homeschooling. But you’ll never really know what’s your style until you get your hands dirty.
And don’t be afraid to customize and personalize your homeschool. We homeschoolers beg, borrow and steal from other styles, all the time. Because each family is unique, your homeschool will be unique and you can change and adjust things, even a homeschooling approach, until it’s right for your family.
One thing that most people forget when they start homeschooling is the very first step: Deschooling.
Deschooling is the process of letting go of the “school mentality”. When families leave the public or private school system, there are a lot of things they need to leave behind in order to be successful at homeschooling.
What is Deschooling?
Deschooling is a process where both parents and children unlearn the school system and learn what their new homeschooling norm will be.
Who Should Deschool?
Anyone who is leaving the school system, public or private, should take some time to deschool.
Why Should You Deschool?
There are so many really important reasons why you should deschool.
It allows families to unlearn school-based expectations, behaviours and schedules
It gives time for kids to get the novelty of “no school” out of their system
Parents get time to adjust to having the kids home all the time. With the kids home all the time, there will be more mess, more snacks and more friction.
Deschooling allows time for parents and children to “reconnect” and grow their relationship.
It’s the perfect time for kids to find their true passions, explore their interests and hobbies
For some, it’s also a time of healing from the stress of school or from negative situations that occurred at school.
When and How Long Should You Deschool?
As soon as you leave the school system, you should start deschooling. It’s the first step in starting your homeschooling journey.
As for how long, that really depends. The rough rule of thumb is 1 week to 1 month for every year your child was in school. For example a grade 5 student would need anywhere from 5 weeks to 5 months of deschooling. The amount of time will really depend on the child and how stressful their time in school was. If they are leaving on positive terms, then they would probably need a shorter time. But if they are leaving on more negative terms (for example, struggles with learning, administration or bullying), then they will need more time to heal and destress.
Where Do You Deschool?
You can deschool anywhere and everywhere. Just like homeschooling!
How Do You Deschool?
It’s a little counter-intuitive, but it’s a time of no educational activities. No worksheets, workbooks, or curriculum. It’s basically a lot of free time, allowing families and children to find their natural schedule, family rhythm, and what the kids are actually interested in.
Most families focus on life skills, chores, establishing what they want their family to be. Some might even take some time to focus on establishing healthy behaviours and becoming more healthy in general (more sleep, working on mental health, and dealing with a health issue).
A lot of parents are concerned that they are not qualified to teach their kids at home. They doubt themselves and their abilities to homeschool their kids. And, society reinforces that fear. After all, a teacher goes to school to learn how to teach kids right? They get a university degree and then go to teacher’s college. For most teachers, it’s at least 5 years of post-secondary education.
Well, we are two teachers and together, we have 10 years of post-secondary education plus a few extra courses here and there. We have over 14 years of teaching experience between the two of us. Most people assume that we are qualified to homeschool our kids. Well let us tell you, public school and homeschooling are nothing alike and nothing in teachers’ college prepared us for homeschooling.
In teachers’ college, you aren’t really learning how to teach. My experience was that teachers’ college was like going back to elementary school. We sat in desks and had classes in Math, Science, Language Arts, Music, and Visual Art. We would do activities like we were in school. I painted pictures in art class, did experiments in science class and sang songs in music class. In our Language Arts class, we literally sat on the floor and took turns reading picture books to each other.
On top of those subject classes, we had two other classes. One was ethics and law of teaching. The other class was Methods. Most people imagine that Methods would be how to teach. But the reality is, it’s something very different. We learned about how to set up a classroom so it’s safe and effective for 25+ kids. We learned how to set up a routine and rules and how to maintain order in a class with 25+ students. We learned very little about how to teach a kid to read, write, or do math. Teachers’ college prepared us for teaching in a classroom, where you have 25-35 students. You’re teaching a large number of kids things they aren’t necessarily interested in. You have to make lessons that are for the average student in your class, find ways to make it more challenging for the advanced kids and accessible for the kids with learning difficulties. You have filler activities for the kids who are done because they can’t be distracting the others.
Homeschooling is totally different. First off, there’s significantly less children. We can teach our kids in the way that they learn best, take breaks when they want and study topics they find interesting. We can read books that they like, rather than following a reading list.
With all that being said, you might still be wondering if you are qualified to teach your kids. Let us make this clear to you and everyone around you…
YES! YOU ARE QUALIFIED TO TEACH YOUR KIDS!
Here are 5 reasons you are qualified to homeschool your children.
Your Kids Are Your Passion
You love your children more than any teacher ever will. As much as teachers care for children, they will never love them as you do.
No teacher will ever love your kids the same way you do. They make like your children but they will never love them and that’s a huge difference.
You Know Your Kids
You know your kids better than any teacher. You know their strengths, weaknesses, and passions. You know what they love, what they hate and what motivates them. You also know about their lives. You know if they were at a hockey tournament all weekend and need some extra sleep or if they had a big fight with their sibling that they are upset about. You know how these things will affect your kids and you have the flexibility to adjust accordingly. That’s not something a teacher can know, or easily accommodate.
You Don’t Need to Know Everything
Many people think teachers know everything, which is why they are qualified to teach. The truth is, sometimes they don’t know anything about a particular subject. They get the textbook and read it before they teach it. They look up activities on Pinterest and cool videos on YouTube to learn what they need to know to teach the next unit.
As a homeschooler, you can do the same. If you don’t know much about a particular subject you can learn it with your child. You can read the manual, watch videos, and read books. You can also find experts all around you to help everyone learn.
And a great bonus to all of this is that your kids get to see you learn. They learn that learning is not a static thing, but something that you can do forever. It helps create a love for life-long learning.
You Won’t Put Your Child in a Box
There are so many ways for a child to be categorized in school. A good reader, a bad reader, one who struggles in math, one who talks too much. But when you homeschool you don’t have to put your children in a box. They don’t have to fit arbitrary grade levels, they can take their time learning something. If they aren’t reading by grade one, that’s okay. That doesn’t make them behind, as they would be labeled in the school system. Without these labels, children aren’t burdened with the stress of being behind or different.
And you can allow their differences to be their strengths. If they are creative, you can focus more on that. Or if they need to be more active, you can build their schooling around lots of movement, breaks, and activity. Rather than label them a problem, you can use this to your child’s advantage.
You Know That School Isn’t Everything
As a parent, you know that school isn’t the be-all and end-all of life. There’s more to life than just work and school. There are hobbies, health (physical, mental and emotional), and life skills.
When you are homeschooling you can teach things that aren’t always taught in the school system, like baking, car repair, budgeting, and taxes. You can teach skills that extend beyond the classroom and focus on raising healthy, happy adults who are self-sufficient and productive members of society.
While I can easily get the attention of 30+ kids with a simple clapping song, I cam no more qualified to teach my kids than anyone else.
You are qualified to homeschool your children. Your love and knowledge of them, their lives and their hearts, makes you more qualified than any teacher.
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